When Philip first came home from hospital after having the main part of his tumour removed, we were coming to terms with our new reality. I don’t think he had thought about writing before brain cancer but he’d been given a book written by Dr Chris O’Brien who shared the same diagnosis and this piqued his interest in writing. Philip was always a great storyteller. He was very quick and witty and when a friend encouraged him to write his stories down in a book he didn’t waste any time.
He got back into working, prior to chemo and radiation, and he would spend the last hour of his day writing. I’d be cooking dinner, and he would come into the kitchen and read me what he had just written. It was amazing, really beautiful. He was recounting stories that I had heard before but the act of putting them down in writing, allowed him to really process, often for the first time, a lot of what had taken place in his life. Many nights he would have a good cry and me along with him. Other times we would have a good laugh.
He decided to get the cover done early despite me reminding him that he hadn’t finished his book yet! But Philip was a creative person and needed to visualise the end product. We did a gorgeous photo shoot with a friend who was an amateur photographer and another good friend designed the cover. A colour printout of the cover wrapped around another book remained on our coffee table throughout the writing process. Like a lot of things in the two years that we had with Philip post diagnosis, it was a good thing we did this. A year later, his declining function would not have allowed it.
Philip’s writing process ebbed and flowed. There were times after chemotherapy when he needed more rest, and there was a time when he stopped writing completely for a few months, but it was never in doubt that he would finish his book. Eventually it became too difficult to physically write, and this is when he dictated the last few chapters and I became his scribe. I also did the first full edit before publication. This was a super beautiful time together.
Philip, Melinda and their children
Home from hospital and starting to write
When I was editing the book, often at night, I would come to bed and tell him how amazing he was and how amazing his book was. It wasn’t until I read and edited the manuscript as a whole, that I could see the true picture of Philip emerging. He was incredibly open and honest. It was clear he was driven in parts of his life by his many hurts. He was able to question whether all that striving, ambition and the need for recognition was necessary. He realised that he was complete from the outset and that in actual fact he had all the answers right from the get go.
“The book was an incredible healing process for Philip and for both of us for that matter. It is also an incredibly precious gift for us all, particularly for his girls.”
As Philip’s illness progressed the, supports from the NDIS helped us both have important quality time together. When someone is nearing the end of life, it can be tricky to find the right supports but we are thankful for the guidance provided by our Support Coordinator Aaron and from our palliative care team. We were still making decisions on the book in the last few weeks of his life, but about two months before he passed, Philip happily handed over control to see the book published. “Over to you Mel,” he said. “I’m done.” He was content and it was beautiful.
Philip passed away 22 July 2023. His book ‘The Man Who Tried to Prove Too Much’ was published in August 2023 and is available from Booktopia or Dymocks.
